5/30/26 (On Male Socialization and Transmisogyny)
I have heard the phrase "Gender Socialization" thrown around a lot, by transphobes and allies alike. It is used to imply the (mostly correct) idea that our society socializes people differently based on their gender. However, that isn't the full story. Gendered socialization does indeed exist, it's how we have ideas of gender roles and expectations within our society. However, things aren't that simple. First off, there's no universal male or female socialization. Overall, there are 2 general clusters of gender socialization, but they vary between cultures. "Male socialization", and thus gendered expectations, might look different in the US compared to other countries. For example, there is no requirement that the average man in the US would enlist in the military, but in South Korea, all men are required to serve at some point in time. Gendered socialization is an external factor that helps us develop our views of gender in society and within ourselves.
To me, gender socialization isn't something that happens to us, it happens around us. Everyone experiences both male and female socialization, which is how we know if we are men, women, neither, or soem combination. Based on our assigned gender at birth, we get pushed towards one more than the other, but that doesn't mean that's the way we act within the world and view ourselves. Despite being raised "male", I never had those traditional experiences of growing up as a boy, and didn't receive treatment from others like I was one. I always fit into a separate category. Our own gender identities are intrinsic, and exposure to gender socialization helps us describe our own genders.
Male socialization is often used as a defense of transmisogyny. It's a way to "other" trans women from cis women. No matter what we do, the legal changes, hormones, surgery, and anything else, it is a way to separate us completely from cis women and make us less than. It's a transmisogynist's excuse for treating us differently, despite male socialization not existing in the way they think it does.